Elf Bowling

And now it’s time for a slightly surreal, simply outrageous, and child-inappropriate festive treat! 😈

In November, 1999, NStorm (defunct?) released Elf Bowling (824k Windows zip file). The game was passed around by email and became a smash hit. Many sequels followed, but the original is the best… Not to mention the funniest and rudest! 😉

The Game

The plot, such as it is, goes something like this:

The elves at the North Pole have gone on strike, demanding: “Less work, higher wages!”

Santa is unimpressed and tries to break up the strike by knocking the elves over with bowling balls.

But not everything goes Santa’s way. He has to deal with such distractions as mooning elves and sarcastic comments about his bowling prowess. If that wasn’t infuriating enough, the elves sometimes move out of the way of the ball at the last second.

Occasionally, an animal will run across the screen which can be hit for extra points. (Cheat: Press Ctrl-X to score a strike, and Ctrl-D to hit the deer.)

Best of all, imho, the elves sing, “Elf elf, baby!” at the start and end of every game.

Unfortunately, the game is plagued with bugs and crashes frequently. And, if you’re running Windows XP, it will take the operating system down with it. 😦

Related Links

  • Tamrof’s Download Archive: A website that time forgot. Worth a look for nostalgia-value alone. Has download links to some vintage and hard-to-find games and programs.

  • Just Laugh’s Download Page for NStorm Games: Download links to many old NStorm games, including Frogapult and the first three games in the Elf Bowling series.

  • XmasFun Christmas Downloads: Yet another page full of download links to creaky old software. As the name suggests, everything here is Christmas-related.

  • DesktopSnowOK: A portable, freeware program that makes it snow on your Windows desktop while you work (ie, not a screensaver). Highly configurable.

Lastly, I’d like to wish everyone a happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year! 🙂

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